March 7, 2014

Soul Suck Warehouse

One of the many road blocks to pursuing a career in art is money. So many instructors and professionals will tell you that you're kind of doomed if that's the sole reason you're in the game, which is completely understandable. If art meant guaranteed gold mines and Scrooge McDuck level bling, everybody would be doing it. I realized a while ago that I'm not getting rich off this stuff, but I still want to pursue this venture because a career in art doesn't equal poverty. I can still make a decent living if I cut out all the stupid fantasies of taking blondes and brunettes on my luxury yacht for some Bollinger. Unfortunately, life gets in the way and there's the need for cold, hard cash (of the expedient variety).

There are some days where I can't even afford a cup of coffee. I'm not talking about overpriced Starbucks, but regular shit-kicking coffee. If you can't afford that, then you're not qualified for a lot of things. So, the anxiety kicks in, that nasty feeling in my gut. It feels just like those moments before a fight, when I know you're going to get your ass kicked. It's not as graceful as butterflies. Honestly, I wish it were as simple as a fight because, win or loss, once you do it, it's over. You can go back to your regularly schedule program.

Unfortunately, being broke is like getting tossed in a marathon you didn't properly train for. The same could be said for my career in the arts. I attended art school, but I can honestly say that I'm self taught. They don't prepare you for the marathon because, well... that's where the marathon starts. Right in bloody enrollment, but I can talk about that forever.

The point is, I have so many ideas and projects that I want to work on, but the necessities keep distracting me. There's the need for a full time position at whatever-the-fuck incorporated, or maybe even part time over at Soul Suck Warehouse (a good title for a porno, actually). Desperation kicks in and I'm filling out all sorts of applications and kicking over chairs when I see a lovely fit that requires a degree. Overall, it's a shitty experience being me. It's so shitty, in fact, McDonald's is not even remotely interested.

The only thing I can do is endure. I'm still working on my projects, but they're at the pace of a snail. Job applications... Hell, I just filled out a few and even joined up with a creative staffing joint. Not sure if any of these things will bear fruit, but it's something. I just want this to be over. I'm at the point where I need to see some real gains just for the sake of morale. I need to see results.

To me, that's a small thing to ask.


Current Jam
Ananda by Animaya

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